The 85th Oscars are just around the corner, y’all! As Sunday steadily approaches, the masses will tune in to find out who’ll win Best Actor, Best Supporting Role, Best Picture and most importantly Best Dressed. Seeing that the Academy doesn’t recognize the best to ogle (Ed. note: Jerks.) we will!
We’ve plumbed our sartorial memories/Google to comprise this list of the best and worst from Oscar history. As many of you know, the Red Carpet at the Oscars has evolved into an event on its own. The faces we know and love from the silver screen bring out their smartest duds (or, rather, the smartest duds on loan to their stylist) in hopes of being recognized as one of the best dressed. From Audrey Hepburn’s lace frock to Celine Dion’s backwards Galliano Dior blazer, check out our list. That is, when you’re not crossing your fingers for some serious trainwrecks come Sunday night…
Bjork in Marjan Pejoski, 2001
We here at Haute Talk humbly submit this dress without comment. Is it good? Who’s to say. Is it horrendous? We won’t pass any judgments. It is, most definitely, a swan.
Penelope Cruz in Atelier Versace, 2007
A babe in a babe’s dress. From the sculpted bodice to the delicate texturing all over the skirt, we’re smitten. We’re also pretty sure someone’s fingers are still recovering from the detailing on this gown.
Heidi Klum in John Galliano, 2008
The phrase “Get it, girl!” comes to mind.
Halle Barry in Elie Saab, 2002
However dated this wine-colored gown may seem now, at the time we can remember being duly-impressed. And that high neckline on a sleeveless bodice, yes please.
Michelle Williams in Vera Wang, 2006
To all you yellow naysayers, we direct your attention to this dress. This rich, canary-colored gown paired with a crimson lip only serves to make Michelle’s complexion milkier and even lovelier. Simple, stunning, and sure to remain an red carpet cult classic for years to come.
Angelina Jolie in Versace, 2012
The leg that owned the 2012 Oscars. Angelina Jolie looks ravishing, but at the end of the day, her ambitious right leg took the show. It even has its own Twitter account. Go follow it here.
Audrey Hepburn in Edith Head, 1953
This stunning A-line dress in white florals from costume designer extraordinaire Ms. Head is one of the great unsung heroes of Oscars fashion. Proving that yes, even before there was Giuliana and Ryan and Kelly to tell you so, you could still look damned good at the Oscars.
Cher in Bob Mackie, 1986
What do you get when you combine Batman, Queen Grimhilde from Snow White, a seriously committed Vegas showgirl, and Mad Max? Cher at the 1986 Oscars! Although they’re all awesome as stand-alones, they fail when fused together. Nice try, Cher.
Lizzy Gardiner in her own design, 1995
This is what happens when you take American Express’s “Do more” slogan too literally. No matter how much we adore Priscilla, Queen of the Desert this self-designed look that the film’s costume designer wore was just too too.
Celine Dion in John Galliano for Dior, 1999
If you thought wearing a backwards cap was cool, try wearing your blazer backwards. In an attempt to push fashion boundaries, Celine wore a backwards Christian Dior blazer the only way you can wear a backwards blazer–very badly (Ed. note: We humbly submit that this is in fact, one of the best Oscars looks of all time).
Faith Hill in Versace, 2002
Sometimes standing out works, but in the case of Faith Hill, it has you sharing the same color scheme of a bag of Tropical Skittles. Tasting the rainbow never felt so bad.
Uma Thurman in Christian Lacroix, 2004
When the Swiss Alps meets Kill Bill, you get Uma Thurman dressed as if she’s entering a yodeling contest. The very beautiful Uma Thurman pulled a major faux-pas and wore this back in 2004. Thank god she learned her lesson, sticking to more classic styles since.