Where do we even begin? There’s a company in England that create underwear called Shreddies. What, you may ask, is so special about Shreddies? Well, let me tell you.

They minimize the malodorous smell of your flatulence. In simple layman’s terms: They get rid of the smell of farts. Um. These undies “feature a carbon lining which eliminates odors” according to the website.

The website also states these smell-filtering products will give you “more freedom to enter social situations” and apparently it could also “save many a marriage.” You know, because farts can ruin a marriage. Why would you want to wear some cute Victoria’s Secret lingerie for your significant other? You beast! Wear Shreddies in case you perchance pass gas in the night and offend his or her’s sensitive nose!

shreddies

Shreddies not only make underwear, but also jeans and pajamas! Just in case the smell-filtering underwear aren’t enough to quell your apparent social anxiety that a normal bodily function might occur. Yeah, you could spend that $100 on designer jeans, but will designer jeans make sure your butt smells amazing all of the time? Nope!

My favorite part is the ad campaign. His nose is literally on her butt. I can’t imagine that, even if you wore these, you would invite anyone to smell your derriere. Is that ever okay?

I can’t even imagine the potential dialogue behind this shot. Was it something like this?

“Hey Brad, check it out, I totally just farted but you can’t smell anything because of my AWESOME Shreddies!” 

“Wow Jane! *Sniffs* Your booty smells so fresh! I’m going to buy some Shreddies jeans right now!”

You’re welcome for the disturbing caption. Anyways. The site has inspiring flatulence quotes peppered throughout such as “fart with confidence.”

On the bright side, the undies and all other Shreddies flatulence-filtering products look totally normal. No one would be able to tell you were wearing special pants instead of normal ones. The only person who would be able to tell or care is probably you because clearly the occasional flatulence is RUINING YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.

Shreddies

My biggest problem is the fact that this only filters smell and not sound. The sound of flatulence will still happen regardless of the magical scent filter you have covering your butt cheeks. Just sayin’.

 

All jokes aside, this product is mostly meant for people with actual medical conditions (like IBS) that cause excess flatulence and I’m sure it’s incredibly helpful to them. Shreddies has also received a bunch of awards for their product. Props to you, Shreddies, for being a very… unique product.

Would you buy a pair of Shreddies?

 

Paige DiFiore is a Journalism and Graphic Design student at Marist College. She owns enough makeup products to feed a small country (well, if they ate makeup) and she will literally drop everything just to pet a dog. When she isn't daydreaming about owning a pug and making it Instagram famous, she is ruthlessly playing board games and aspiring to someday be the goddess of a religion that's yet to be discovered.

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