This episode of Project Runway opens with Tim, who is dressed in a camouflage suit that is sort of awesome. He announces a glamping trip, which is an “upscale and sophisticated” type of camping. The designers have thirty minutes to pack their bags and get in a van headed for the great outdoors.
Tim meets the designers in a Bob Ross painting and explains that they only have one day to create high-end editorial looks inspired by the environment. To soak up the sunshine, the designers lounge on hammocks, raft down a river, and zipline through tall leaf sticks.
When the designers return to the Big City, they scurry through Mood before heading back to the workroom. Bradon is doing something he calls “thread painting,” Helen is ripping her fabric, Jeremy is writing a love letter onto silk, and Alexander rolls his eyes at the whole mess. Justin is making glue gun lace to mimic the water and it’s rather pretty, for glue. And, Tim loves it a lot. What Tim does not love is Bradon’s “thread painting” treatment because the end result looks like a child’s scribbles, or a Cy Twombly painting. Alexandria is trying to redeem herself with a dropped crotch pant, but Tim Gunn is not impressed. Meanwhile, Ken slaps a bunch of fabric on a dress form and hopes that the green reminds someone of shrubbery. Helen is making a pretty gown that looks like a dead moth, and Miranda is embellishing a dress with origami petals.
It’s the morning of the runway show, and in stomp the models. Alexander revamps a leather train on his dress which Jeremy thinks looks like an oil slick, Bradon is going a little bonkers and barely has a dress pieced together, Kate is finishing a dress that makes her model look pregnant, and although Justin’s glue gun lace is a neato technique, he is incorporating it into a godawful gown. Hmm. I bet Tim Gunn uses his patented Tim Gunn Rescue™ to save Justin. But, nothing can save that dress. Ugh.
Runway time! Our judges are Zac Posen, Nina Garcia, Allison Williams, and Heidi Klum.
Helen’s dress is not as great as she thinks it is. “Like, it’s in the bag, I’m gonna win this challenge.”
Bradon’s flowing dress looks unfinished, but maybe intentionally unfinished. Miranda’s gown looks like it’s got a pile of petals stuck to the bottom. Ken’s cocktail dress is icky.
Alexandria’s crotch drop shorts look weird, and no woman wants to wear that silhouette.
Alexander’s gown is elegant and simple. Justin’s swishing sheer gown looks like it’s moulting. Dom’s dress is a little too Ann Taylor. Karen’s tent dress is sort of nice if you’re the type of person who wears belt buckles at the beach. Kate’s bizarre tutu dress looks like a kitten sneezed on a unicorn. Jeremy’s silky dress is well-made but boring.
Dom, Bradon, Kate, Helen, and Miranda are safe. I loved Helen’s shock at learning she wasn’t the winner.
Heidi says Karen’s outfit looks trashy, and Zac calls the ombre “runny eggs.”
Jeremy blathers on about the planet and his space on the planet, and blah blah blah. They all want to hear about the love letter he wrote on the dress, and Heidi calls it “super chic, super elegant.” Ken talks about sitting by “the river stream,” and Nina bursts in with, “B-O-R, I-N-G.” Zac says the cocktail dress looks like a squished frog, and Allison notes that women’s bodices prefer to be “uncrowded.” The judges react well to Alexander’s dark navy gown because the fit is perfect. However, Zac isn’t impressed. Heidi is “not a huge fan” of Justin’s dress, and calls it “borderline Halloween costume from an inexpensive place,” and Nina says the model looks like she has “a foaming vagina.” What’s with Nina and vaginas this season? The judges give Alexandria high marks for her strange droopy shorts and tight denim jacket.
After the runway show, Tim tries to explain that he had no idea Justin’s glue gun technique would take a turn for the worse, because nothing bad has ever happened with a glue gun in the entire history of Project Runway. Zac Posen says it looks like a cocoon that has rabies. Karen’s dress befuddles the judges. Heidi thinks it looks like a bed sheet with a strap. Meanwhile, they gush over Jeremy’s drama dress and Alexander’s perfectly fitted gown.
For some reason, Alexandria is the winner with her droopy poopy pants. Jeremy, Alexander, and Ken are in. That leaves Karen and Justin. Unfortunately, Justin is out. But does Tim use his patented Tim Gunn Rescue™? Yes, yes he does, he uses his Tim Gunn Rescue.™ I called it! And that’s what matters most. The weird thing is, Tim uses it because he thinks the judges made an error. But what was their error? Justin’s dress was hideous. Awful. The worst. Justin deserved to be sent home. But, Justin is awesome, and Tim is awesome, so whatever.
Next week, frumpy dumpy bridesmaids.
What do you think of this week’s glamping-inspiring runway looks?
Linda Sue Strong is the founder of entertainment blog TerribleTelevision.com and an occasional attorney. Her life has not yet been turned into a reality television show. Follow her at @themisslinda.