Whether or not you’re a fan of the show, you’ve been dealing with the psychological upheaval of AMC’s hit drama Breaking Bad. Twitter and the Internet in general begin to combust on Sunday nights, the workweek is filled with careful analysis, .gif creations, and slightly higher ice cream consumption. With the series finale set for next week, we here at Etsy Wednesday would like to say (politely, to Walter White): don’t get mad – break bad! Read on for 5 products inspired by one of the best dramas in TV history. [NO SPOILERS, I PROMISE.]

Piece #1: Let’s Cook

Breaking Bad Screen Printed Pot Holders Etsy

For the surely few of you whose nails aren’t bitten to the cuticles, “Breaking Bad” is about a cancer-ridden high school chemistry teacher whose wife is unexpectedly pregnant, and whose teenage son has cerebral palsy. In order to leave them a nest egg, our “hero” starts cooking high-quality meth with a former student, while trying to keep his DEA agent brother-in-law in the dark. The phrase “let’s cook” is something of a rallying cry between Walter White (Bryan Cranston makes a helluva chemistry teacher/drug lord) and his silly yet intense assistant Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul in the breakout role of the decade). That’s why these screen-printed pot holders are funny and useful.

Details

  • Handmade
  • 100% cotton
  • 7 x 7 in.

Buy online at etsy.com

Piece #2: Better Call Saul!

Breaking Bad Saul Goodman Ad Toe Bag Etsy

Comedian Bob Odenkirk stars on the show as verbose and underhanded lawyer Saul Goodman. Despite his career as a funny man, Odenkirk’s portrayal of an attorney whose increasing discomfort with his clients’ business practices comes to a head during the fifth season has won universal praise. I can say no more – if I do I’ll incur the Internet’s wrath – but this tote bag, printed with Saul’s ad, is a nice reminder of Goodman’s business before he represented a murderous drug lord & Co.

Details

  • 100% cotton
  • 22 inch handles in navy blue
  • 15”W x 14.5”H x 3”D
  • Graphic is on both sides of the bag

Buy online at etsy.com

Piece #3: RV Livin’ (and Meth Labbin’)

Breaking Bad RV Needlepoint Print Etsy

The RV on this needlepoint from the 1970s isn’t exactly like the one used on the show, but it’s damn close. During the first part of their operation, Walt and Jesse use a dilapidated RV as a mobile meth lab. They drive to the middle of nowhere (plenty of options in the desert!) and cook up batches of ice blue crystal math. Alas, the RV doesn’t make it through the duration of the show, but she has attained nostalgic status. It was a simpler time, when you could just hop in your recreational vehicle and cook up expensive illegal drugs.

Details

  • Handmade
  • 1970s vintage item
  • Material: needlepoint
  • 8.75” x 6.75”

Buy online at etsy.com

Piece #4: “Breaking Bad” For Your Wrist

Breaking Bad Charm Bracelet Etsy

Possibly my favorite pick this week: this charm bracelet painstakingly features many important props from the show’s first seasons. Included are Pinkman’s ‘CAPN’ license plate, a fried chicken leg from Los Pollos Hermanos, Hector Salamanca’s (angry) bell, the eye from the disintegrated stuffed animal, a flask of (fake) “sky blue” crystal meth, and Heisenberg’s hat. Consummate fan, meet the perfect tchotchke.

Details

  • Handmade
  • Materials: charm Bracelet, polymer clay, glass bottle, beads, wire, acrylic paints
  • Sizes of charms run between 1 – 3 cm.
  • Chain measures 7.5”
  • Adjustable chain with lobster claw
  • Made to order

Buy online at etsy.com

Piece #5: B*TCH

Breaking Bad Jesse Pinkman Garden Door Hanger Quote Etsy

Jesse Pinkman hasn’t won any prizes for verbal eloquence (even though Aaron Paul has won two consecutive Emmys). In fact, his go-to rejoinder during arguments and threats is the simple yet all-purpose “Bitch!” In this particular instance, Pinkman is staring down DEA agent Hank Schrader, who is at the door of his RV. The latter tells Pinkman to leave the van, but Walter, who is whispering directions to Jesse on his cell phone, tells him to say only the following: “This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed.” Jesse, unable to resist, adds, “Bitch!” Glad that’s settled, then. Wouldn’t this articulate comeback make a lovely garden hanging, maybe on your front door? I think Jesse would approve.

Details

  • Handmade
  • Material: wood
  • Approximately 9” by 7”
  • Hand burned
  • The flourishes in the corners are artistic renditions of the methamphetamine molecular structure

Buy online at etsy.com


About Nandini Balial: I grew up in India, with an arty theatrical hippie mum who used to make her own jewelry, and vibrant patterns and materials – always on display at any relative’s wedding – quickly caught my attention.  Once I moved to Texas, I had to reconcile the ornate silks, mirrored scarves and silver hoops with glittery Coco Chanel earrings and Ralph Lauren polos. I’m still most comfortable in a vegetable/fruit-dye print cotton shirt and jeans, but my accessories will always vary. I proudly maintain that clothes are expensive and can’t always be mixed n’matched, but accessories are (on average) a bit cheaper, and can always move across your wardrobe (with/without irony). If you ever run across a fun accessory find, e-mail me with the details (and a photo, if possible), and I’ll try to include it in a future column.


 

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