Fashion seems to have hit rock bottom at last night’s 2013 SAG Awards. Hollywood seems to have collectively agreed that no one really cares about the Screen Actors Guild awards, ergo why even bother? Whereas the Oscars have the potential to stun, and something like the Grammys brings the promise of total and utter horror, the SAGs are the redheaded sartorial stepchild of awards shows, where non-descript is the order of the day. The evening was an ocean of blah dresses, forgettable tuxedos and less-than-memorable makeup—with a handful of exceptions.
Here are a few of things that made the evening worthwhile.
“We all need a splash of bad taste- it’s hearty, it’s healthy, it’s physical. I think we could use more of it. No taste is what I’m against.” –Diana Vreeland
1. John Slattery – There are no words. John, you are a silver fox. We love seeing the Mad Men star all turned out and not engaged in uncomfortable situations with women. This is sort of the ideal milieu for him. Except for, y’know, across from us at a candlelit table.
2. Ben Affleck may be turning into Keanu Reeves? Ben attempts to reclaim the credibility of his Good Will Hunting days, and in the process seems to be turning into Keanu Reeves. As we all know, scruff = intellectual believability.
3. Marion Cotillard – This look, although not mind-numbingly dull, is a bit harsh on Marion. It’s a little too sleekly safe and we prefer Marion’s usual slightly tousled French Thing.
4. Freida Pinto and Dev Patel – They get our nomination for most adorable couple ever, and Freida looks unbelievably chic. Freida + Dev 4ever.
5. SOMETHING ATE KALEY CUOCO’S HEAD – No, but honestly, we thought this was Suzanne Somers. K-Cuo just keeps striking out.
6. Kiernan Shipka – The Young Draper looked absolutely darling and “age-appropriate” in this sweet Oscar de la Renta dress and heels.
7. Julianna Margulies – Looking a bit like an extra mean supporting character from Bring it On, she seems to still be wearing her sports bra. It’s a Chado Ralph Rucci number, but paired with the severe 1960s hairstyle ? In the immortal words of Liz Lemon, “Blurgh.”
8. Aaron Paul Eating Fiancee Lauren Parsekian – For all the nauseatingly affectionate tweeting these two do, it sure looks a hell of a lot like he’s about to consume her, or at least her shiny, shiny bangs.