Amanda Bynes’ latest project, the soon-to-be indie classic “I’m Sucking On A Sour Patch Kid Listening To Music Getting Ready For Tonight,” is really, really weird.
Bynes posted the video of herself “twerking out” (her words) on Monday, and we’re still reeling. Herein—and with the assistance of the inimitable Steven of Travel Freak—we hypothesize about the prolonged twitching, arguably the most disturbing piece of cinema we’ve encountered this year.
1. The bleach from her root touch-up seeped into her brain, causing her to stroke out.
2. She’s trying to readjust the backs of her cheek piercings using only her tongue and sheer willpower.
3. She’s in the midst of launching a Cindy Sherman-inspired art career, and hopes to be included in next year’s Whitney Biennial. The grimacing face before you is merely one of Bynes’ characters.
4. She mistook an errant pill for a Sour Patch kid and is actually sucking on a Quaalude.
5. She is testing her basic motor functions, no doubt compromised.
6. She is doing her best impression of a malfunctioning Marilyn Monroe cyborg