Buying makeup isn’t the problem. You can buy the whole store (in theory, because your wallet is telling you otherwise). The problem is the side effects that come with loving beauty products and using them on the daily. Beauty is an addiction and a lifestyle complete with a lot of struggle and a bit of sparkle.
1. When you accidentally apply too much makeup.
You were going for that Kim K naturally flawless look but you end up looking like all of your products exploded in your face.
2. When you cry, the aftermath must immediately be assessed.
Don’t you love the way the mascara black tears stain your cheeks and make you look like an extra from a horror movie? Sexy.
3. When kissing becomes dangerous.
You, the kisser, now have a smudged pout while the receiver of the smooch now probably has the latest MAC shade all over them. Amazing. You could always use this whole kissing-leaves-your-lipstick-on-everything power to claim your territory. Can we make that a thing?
4. When you wear a sparkly product and the glitter Never. Comes. Off.
There’s a reason they call glitter the “herpes of makeup”. It never goes away. Use it once for a glam smokey eye and you’ll find it ten years later, still on your eyelid.
5. When you smudge your lipstick.
Oops, you had a piece of food near your mouth. Oops, you tried to eat something. Oops, you breathed the wrong way and your lipstick smudged all over your face. You tried to exhale? Lol, how do you feel about red lipstick on your chin and cheeks?
6. When you sneeze or blink while applying mascara.
You feel the sneeze coming on, BUT WAIT, BODY, NO, MY MASCARA IS STILL WET. Achoo! You’re done for. Mascara goes everywhere. Body: 1, Mascara: 0. It looks like mascara tried to consume your eyeballs.
7. When people think you wear makeup to hide something.
Well, yeah, maybe you’re covering up a blemish or two, but really. You’re simply enhancing the beautiful you’ve already been #blessed with . It’s a hobby. It’s art. GOT A PROBLEM? Talk to the eyeliner wings.
8. When you splurged on a new product and it doesn’t look good on you.
But it looked so pretty in the package! The model (whose skin tone is nothing like yours) looked great with coral lips, why don’t you look that flawless, too? Guess this one’s going into the graveyard collection of products you bought and never used. Sigh.
9. When you ignore expiration dates on products even though you know you shouldn’t.
Well, yeah, using expired mascara could probably damage your eye but it was expensive and you LOOOVE it. You know it’s so wrong but you just can’t throw your precious products in the trash. You’ll low-key pretend you didn’t see the expiration date. How dare the world expect you to throw away that eye shadow from three years ago. Um, it’s SPARKLY and EXPENSIVE.
10. When your favorite product gets discontinued.
It was supposed to be fOREVER. NO NUDE LIPSTICK SHADE WILL EVER COMPLIMENT YOUR COMPLEXION THE SAME WAY THAT THIS ONE DID. WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL?
11. …But you remember you bought ten of the product the last time you were in the store because you have no self-control.
They can take it off of the shelves but they can’t take it out of your collection.
12. When you try to make your eyeliner even and end up looking like a glamorous racoon.
Well, maybe you wanted to be a little bit avant garde today. Pshhh, no, you didn’t mess up, It’s called FASHION and ARTISTIC EXPRESSION.
But at the end of the day….
Being an absolute beauty addict is something you wouldn’t trade for anything–not even perfectly winged eyeliner every time.